Evil Lurks at the Dental Office

This morning I called the dental office to reschedule a cleaning appointment.  There's no particular reason for me to move this appointment except for the fact that I hate going to the dentist.  The office smells like a hospital.  And no matter how friendly the staff is, they never fail to instill fear to everyone that walks through their doors.  The dental staff is like the calm before the storm. They smile at you, offer you water, and then the storm comes. In comes the dentist; first, he pokes your teeth with these sharp instruments.  Sometimes I wonder if he really knows what he's looking for.  Anyway, he does that for about 3 to 4 minutes. It's during this time that he actually try to start a conversation with you.  Topics of conversation range from issues about the weather, your job, the weekend, etc ... at this point, it's either your mouth is so dry or you have drool all over the side of your cheek that conversation with the dentist is close to impossible.  Every word that comes out of your mouth is, "A a A a AH."  After the poking, he goes in deeper down your throat to check Lord knows what.  It's at this point that I force myself NOT TO GAG. Yes, I admit.  I'm a gagger. When I was a kid, I couldn't even swallow aspirin without gagging. Anyway, the cleaning part of the procedure is actually less excruciating. I actually enjoy having the electric toothbrush scrub my teeth, plus the toothpaste tastes good (as a matter of fact, they even let you choose which flavor you want - I personally like raspberry).  After the cleaning, the dental assistant sits with you and asks you more questions about your teeth and gums and then part of the routine is for her to offer you a product that you actually don't need. One time they wanted me to invest on a mouthpiece (just fill in the blanks). After 2 minutes of chatting, they look inside your mouth some more and then they declare you healthy to go on with your daily life.  You have no idea how much I look forward to leaving their office and step outside to the fresh clean air.  If you actually listen hard, you could hear my gums breathe a sigh of relief.        

Useless Fact About Me:  I hate dentists - they're evil!